Monday, August 16, 2004



Ahhh yes, after only what feels like years it is time again for the Olympics. A time for the world to join together in harmony and peace to celebrate sports that no one seems to care about. Please, don't get me wrong, I am not saying that these sports are not hard to play. And I am definitely not saying the athletes who play these little known sports aren't buff. Because they are huge! The athletes I mean, especially the women. These women have muscles rippling and bulging all over their bodies trying hard to escape from a thin layer of lycra that is doing a very poor job of containing anything. Now I am sure that these outfits are designed for speed and performance in whatever sport they are participating in but it seems to me these suits would be the size of Post It note if they weren't wrapped around a body.

My wife and I watched the women's gymnastics last night and I was shocked. First at the fact that I was actually watching women's gymnastics and then at the fact that they call this "women's" gymnastics.

Clueless Male Announcer: This is Zhavnya Ripyorarmov from Romania and she is 12 years old.
Smart Sounding Female: Yes, she has trained for this event since she was in the womb and she is now performing on the impossibly skinny beam element.
Clueless Male Announcer: Well she has had trouble with this Smirnoff Triple Black Layout combo before and...
Smart Sounding Female: Oh no! Her pinky toe was off the beam on that last jump and the Judges have to take a mandatory 7/16ths of a point off her score or they can choose to hurl water balloons at her during her next event.
Clueless Male Announcer: I hope she can recover from that costly mistake. Here is the dismount...
Smart Sounding Female: And she steps back on the landing! Oh too bad, she is definitely not moving on to the finals and will probably be plagued with acne the rest of her life.

What kind of sport puts that insane amount of pressure on a 12 year old. I hope the most pressure my daughter is under at that age is whether Barbie should drive the Corvette or the Jeep.

So back to the original intent of this thought was the weird and intense sports that seem to surface at the Olympics. Badminton, Judo, Fencing, Pentathalon, Rowing, Hexathalon, synchronized parallel parking, and the 1000m mambo are all examples of sports that nobody ever hears of until the Olympics. I say lets boil down the Olympics to one big event where everybody competes at once and we give each country one big medal if they win. Maybe everybody should be forced to wear skin tight outfits including the coaches and refs... Hmmm maybe not.

Think about it... and stick the landing.


Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Ohhh Sol A Treo!

Ohhh Sol A Treo!

The last two days here at the office have been quite interesting since the geek fairy paid us a visit. Most of the sales staff and principals have received brand new Treo 600 GSM mobile phone/PDA's and the chirp of people selecting new rings has echoed through the office like an SUV full of teenagers changing the radio station every fifteen seconds.

You would think that people would have some taste in selecting their mobile phone's ringtone but like a bed with dirty sheets, everybody has one and they all need to be changed. In a recent meeting with a colleague everything seemed to be going well until I heard something. It started out faintly like the noisy college dorm room neighbor who had an unhealthy addiction to playing Vanilla Ice at 2 AM. As he reached into his pocket the crappy MIDI sounds of "Ice Ice Baby" begin to bounce in my ear drums and kick holes into my brain. It was his mobile phone! Playing one of the most annoying songs ever written! Not even the real song but a crappy, polyphonic, casio-esque version that would have Vanilla Ice putting his "nine" to his own temple.

So consider this a public service announcement. Please use a ringtone that sounds like a telephone and even better, use the vibrate function. I would really rather not hear your phone at all. Lets all try and make this a crappy ringtone free world.

Think about it... and word to your mother.


Thursday, August 05, 2004

Our Honorable Mayor

Our town has a very interesting mayor. I decided to compose a brief Top Ten List in his honor. For those of you who know the situation it will be much funnier.

Top Ten signs that you have a bad mayor…

10. Throws the media out of meetings because he doesn’t want the “public” to know what’s going on
9. Two words: Napoleon Complex
8. Conducts all business via “that there hi-tech facsimile machine”
7. Currently involved in legal battles with his own city
6. Drinks Windex straight from the bottle
5. Spends time trying to be mayor of other towns
4. Last name rhymes with puke
3. Puts up a personal website to defend his actions
2. Hates “big business” trying to “bring jobs” into his city

and the number 1 sign that you have a bad mayor…

1. He lives in another city

Think about it...


Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Im playing this Friday with a Jazz band

habanero flavored creativity

Something to think about...

Quite frequently in our lives we are called upon to actually use our brain to do certain things.

When is say "do things" I actually mean to think about stuff. Most of the time we oblige quite readily and attempt to fire up our neural connections and set to the task of solving whatever problem is in front of us. All in all this system seems to work quite impressively unless you actually want to accomplish something within a certain amount of time and you want the idea to actually work.

All this meandering is leading to the reason for this blog. I want to explore a little bit about how we think and interact with each other and how our ideas can be honed into functioning productive pieces of society. I will probably write about whatever strikes me at the moment so be prepared for some mindless drivel. But I also will try and always use this as a forum for new ideas and how to think.

Please let me know what you think and how you think.

Thanks and think about it...